So You’re a Personal Attendant at Your Besties Wedding?
… and what exactly does that mean? If you have never been, or even heard of a personal attendant, and were just asked to be one, this post is for you.
In this post we’re going to cover: what your responsibilities are, what you should wear, and what you should bring. I will include two lists, one for your emergency bag, and one for bride must haves. There will be downloadable PDFs at the end of this post, as well as images inserted throughout if you would rather screen shot!
A personal attendant at a wedding is someone who’s main focus is the bride, but who also helps the, wedding party, and the parents of the bride and groom. They make life easier from the rehearsal dinner, to the grand exit!
Personal attendants are designated by the bride. They are not technically part of the wedding party, but are often included in several photos and are there throughout all the different “events” a wedding entails.
THE GUIDE
01: What to Wear
More than likely your bride will tell you exactly what to wear, or give you guidelines. With or without outfit guidelines, send your options to the bride BEFORE purchasing your dress. This will ensure that both of your are on the same page about how you should look on the big day! If your bride did not give you specifics/is lax about the “dress code” black is always a safe choice.
02: Ask the Bride Her Must Haves
These are the items she would like to have on her (you) at all times.
For example her perfume, lipstick, phone, powder, kinky stuff, whatever it is! Keep these things in YOUR purse. The bride is not going to have a purse, or pockets to keep her things in, so it is your job to be available with her things whenever she needs them. Don’t lose the purse obviously 😉
Must Haves List
This will differ depending on your bride. This is a list of the things I had in my purse/must haves bag.
It is possible that your bride has not even thought of what she might like to have in this bag, so it might be beneficial to show her this list to get her ideas flowing!
03: Personal Attendant Emergency bag
This has everything the bride, the bridal party and you might need throughout the entire wedding process.
I brought this bag to rehearsal dinner, photos, cocktail hour, dinner, and the reception!
Ask the bride and bridal party for any specifics they would like to have included. Aside from that, pack what YOU think you will need to keep everyone looking and feeling good.
Packing this bag is arguably the most important part of your job.
Pro Tip: Ask the bride and grooms moms if they would like to put anything in the bag (there is also a lot on their plates on the day of).
04: On the Day
You should have a decent understanding of the days itinerary, and a copy of it on your phone if possible.
Everyones wedding day is going to run a bit differently. I will run through what the day looked like for me when I was a personal attendant to give you an idea of what to expect.
Brenden, the other personal attendant, and I started the day picking up everyones coffee order from Starbucks. If you do not have a second personal attendant I highly recommend getting a bridesmaid to join you for this.
Between this time and getting ready we brought the brides gift and note to the groom and vis versa. This is not something that all couples do. Your bride will let you know whether or not this is something you need to worry about.
It’s best to get ready before the rest of the bridal party so you have time to make sure both the must haves bag, and emergency bag are ready for pictures.
During pictures we kept both bags on us at all times. We stayed with the bridal party until about five minuets before the ceremony began. Immediately following the ceremony we brought the emergency bag to cocktail hour. Let the bridal party know where you plan to keep the emergency bag for cocktail hour, dinner, and the dance.
From this time forward you can just keep the “must haves” bag directly on you. The rest of the night will likely include: touch ups, reminding people where the emergency bag is, drinking, dancing, and helping the bride go pee!
What I Would Have Done Differently
To make things easier for everyone I wished I had used organizer bags within the big emergency bag. Having only one large pocket, and so many items made it difficult to find what I was looking for. I would have also brought a zip lock to use for garbage. The bandaids and fashion tape leave a lot of trash behind and there isn’t always a garbage around. In the end don’t worry, if anything goes wrong you always have a melt down!
Friendly Reminder
The most important thing to remember is that something is going to go wrong, and it’s still going to be an amazing night!
Don’t sweat the small stuff, the bride chose you as a personal attendant because you’re funny and awesome ;), not because you’re a secret wedding planner. Just be happy and helpful and the night will end up a success!
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